We all need more help as we age. It’s impossible to avoid. Whether it’s things like house upkeep and landscaping, or medication management and bathing, at some point we all need help. As you head home for the holidays, make sure you know how to spot the warning signs that older adults in your life may need more support.
Home for the Holidays Checklist
Knowing the warning signs that older adults need more help is an important first step. With this checklist, you can confidently recognize if someone needs more assistance as you’re home for the holidays this year. Preparing to spot the signs also makes it easier to plan for how to support them.
1. Home Upkeep
One of the first things an older adult may need assistance with is upkeep of their home. As you’re home for the holidays, there are a few things to look for, both inside and outside. When you’re looking for signs they may need help, it’s important to keep in mind what you think is typical for them and notice what seems out of the ordinary.
Outside
As you arrive, look at things like:
- Overgrown bushes
- Fallen branches that haven’t been removed
- Lawn that hasn’t been mowed
- Snow that hasn’t been shoveled or salted
Inside
Once you’re in their home, look at things like:
- Clutter
- Excess dirt or dust
- Floors that haven’t been swept or mopped in a while
2. Mobility Changes
Another important thing to watch for is changes with mobility. There are two main warning signs with mobility for older adults, furniture surfing and fall risks.
Furniture Surfing
As your parent or loved one is walking around the house, notice how well they are able to get around or not. When they walk from one room to another, look to see if they’re unsteady. If they hold onto things like couches, chairs, tables, or doorways as they walk, they’re furniture surfing. They’re essentially using furniture to improve their stability as they navigate their home and is a sign they aren’t getting around as well as they once were.
Fall Risks
Even if stability isn’t a concern, fall risks are a concern. Older adults are not only more likely to fall, but more likely to get injured and be hospitalized after a fall. Look around their home and identify common trip hazards, such as:
- Rugs
- Cords
- Clutter
- Pets that get underfoot
3. Medication Management
While it’s harder to spot possible challenges, medication management is one of the most common things older adults need assistance with. Medication management involves medications being stored properly, with the right dosage, taken at the right time, following the directions. When you’re home for the holidays, try to check things like:
- Refrigerated medications kept cold
- Needles stored and disposed of safely
- Expiration dates
- Proper amounts are taken, comparing the fill date to the number of pills left
- Pill minder or organizer properly filled with no missed doses
4. Diet and Nutrition
Diet and nutrition are extremely important to our overall wellbeing. Weight loss and gain can even be early signs of many medical conditions. As you’re home for the holidays with your loved ones, you can observe both their weight and nutrition.
Weight
When it comes to changes in your loved one’s weight, there are multiple ways to identify possible concerns. The face is one of the first places to notice weight changes, becoming thinner or rounder. As you hug them, you may notice that they seem thinner or more frail, or that they may have gained some weight. You may also notice that their clothes are fitting either more loosely or tighter.
Nutrition
While you’re home for the holidays, you’re probably planning to share a meal with your aging loved ones. At meals, pay attention to whether they eat more or less than they typically would. Nutrition goes beyond just one meal or day though. Check their cabinets, pantry, and fridge, looking to see if they have a good selection of nutritious foods that aren’t expired. If the cabinets and fridge are bare, you can ask them what they’ve been eating and how well they’ve been eating.
5. Personal Hygiene
While you’re home for the holidays, it’s also important to notice differences in personal hygiene with your aging loved ones. With personal hygiene, it’s especially important to consider their traditional habits and standards. If your mom or aunt always got a perm before holidays, and didn’t this year, that could be a sign something is wrong. Even if she just needs help remembering to make the appointment or getting to it. Signs of challenges with personal hygiene could include:
- Increased body odor
- Wearing dirty clothes
- Unkempt hair
- Teeth that haven’t been brushed
- Not wearing glasses, hearing aids, or dentures
6. Cognitive Function
Arguably the hardest changes to recognize in your loved ones while you’re home for the holidays is their cognitive function. We’re probably all worried about getting Alzheimer’s or dementia ourselves, or that our parents or loved ones will get it as they age. With 1 in 3 adults 85 or older diagnosed with Alzheimer’s alone, it’s a valid worry. It’s also important to notice any possible changes as early as possible.
Signs of Memory Changes
Many things that can be memory concerns, and some memory changes can be normal age-related changes. These are changes with memory you can watch for that could be signs of memory challenges.
- Misplacing items and unable to retrace steps to find them
- Struggling to find words or engage in conversation
- Getting confused about the day or date (especially on a holiday) or who someone is
- Having a hard time with problem solving or getting frustrated more easily
Addressing Changes While Home for the Holidays
Recognizing changes is only the first step. Once you know there are changes, and what they are, it’s important to address them. There are three main things you can do to address worrying changes you notice with your aging loved ones: have a conversation, prioritize autonomy and independence, and find resources.
1. Have a conversation
The first thing you should do if you notice changes that worry you is have a conversation directly with your loved one. This shouldn’t be about accusing them of not taking care of their house or for not having their hair done. It should be an open conversation with them, telling them things you’re noticing, asking how they think things are going, and suggesting that there are ways to get help.
2. Prioritize their autonomy and independence
None of us wants to lose our independence. We all want to make our own decisions and take care of ourselves without being told what to do. Your aging loved ones are no different. As much as safely possible, the decision to get help, and what type of help to get, should be theirs. Offer to support them how you can, but encourage them that the decisions are theirs. It’s also helpful to remind your parents or loved ones that having someone take care of the outside of the house doesn’t mean they’re giving up their independence
3. Find resources
Once you and your loved one agree that they need assistance with some things, it’s important to find resources that can help. It doesn’t mean you have to handle everything. You may help them get connected with local resources that can support their needs. You may also decide it’s a good idea to start discussing senior living for now or in the future.
Recognizing Warning Signs in Older Adults when not Home for the Holidays
If you aren’t going to be home for the holidays, there are still ways you can check in on the older adults in your life. Even from a distance, you can ensure your aging parents and other older adults have the help they need.
Ask Someone Local to Find Out How They’re Really Doing
Seeing how someone is doing with your own eyes is always going to be best. That’s because you know your loved one best and will know when things are off. But, that isn’t always practical. When you can’t visibly check in on your loved ones yourself, consider asking a trusted family member, friend, or neighbor to check on them and report back to you.
Use the Checklist
Even if you won’t be visiting your loved ones this holiday season, you can still use this checklist to monitor for signs they need help. You can use it the next time you visit, share it with someone you ask to check in on them, or use it as a guide to ask your loved one specific questions.
Check in on the Phone
Sometimes even a video call is enough to notice changes. As you talk, pay attention to how their speech and memory seems. You can also use the checklist as a guide to ask your loved one specific questions. Your questions don’t have to be as pointed as “how often are you showering?” Approach the conversation more openly and ask them how things are going with the shower and if they’ve either fallen or are worried about falling.
Plus, calling is a good way to support their social wellness and connect with them.
Encourage Them to Reach Out to Community Resources
Your loved one may not admit to you when they are struggling. But your conversation could make them start considering ways that they may need more assistance. Even if they insist they don’t need anything, encourage them to reach out to resources in their community. Often times, getting help before they need it can help them avoid a crisis and promote their independence.
Help from The Ohio Masonic Communities Resource Center
At The Ohio Masonic Communities, our mission is to help our communities thrive, whether you choose to call or campuses home or not. Through The Ohio Masonic Communities Resource Center, we’re here to assist you and the older adults in your life so you have the resources you need to thrive. We can help with clinical, social, and financial needs, as well as make referrals to other community resources that can assist. If you or your loved one is looking for assistance, give us a call at 877-881-1623.
At The Ohio Masonic Communities, we want you to feel empowered and supported as your loved ones age. We have three senior living communities across the state of Ohio – Browning Masonic Community in Waterville, Ohio, Springfield Masonic Community in Springfield, Ohio, and Western Reserve Masonic Community in Medina, Ohio. If you are interested in learning more about our respite care options, or would like to connect with our resource center, give us a call at 1 (877) 881-1623 or contact us here.