You’re Ready. Now It’s Time to Talk to the Family
More often than not, families tend to stall conversations about moving to a senior living community. It’s understandable — the topic brings up other more difficult ones like selling a childhood home or acknowledging that we are all growing older.
The reality is that while it’s your choice to move to a retirement community, that choice will have an impact on your family members. By talking with your adult children about why you want to move and the life you can create for yourself, you can make the impact of your move a positive one for everyone.
Be Ready to Answer Questions
Talking to adult children about senior living options doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable experience. It’s actually an opportunity for everyone involved to learn something new about each other and to gain insights into what is best for everyone involved. By staying positive throughout the process and involving your children in decision-making, you can make it easier for everyone, including yourself!
Your children will likely ask questions after learning that you are moving to a senior living community. Often this move is associated with poor health instead of a lifestyle change. Begin your conversation with the aspects of what made you interested in learning more about senior living communities, such as not needing to worry about home maintenance responsibilities and the freedom to pursue the lifestyle that you desire, as well as being surrounded by a great social setting. These factors can help ease their concerns.
Luckily, many of their questions will be similar to the ones you had at the start of your search for a senior living community, so you should feel more comfortable answering them.
Consider things like:
- Why do you want to move to a senior living community?
- When do you want to move and what will you do with the house?
- How big is the space you want to move to?
- How much does it cost?
- What are the benefits of moving to a maintenance-free community?
- What does the community offer in terms of food or long-term care?
You may also want to have a few community brochures on hand for your children to take home. If your children live far away, email them the links to your top senior living communities. They’ll be able to research the community on their own. They can become helpful advocates as you make your final community selection.
Invite Them on a Tour
Even if you’ve already toured your dream community, consider a second tour with your adult children. Show them why you fell in love with the community in the first place. Talk with them during the tour about things on campus that excite you.
Experiencing the community first-hand can make visiting you in the future less overwhelming or scary for your adult children. They may not understand that senior living today looks and feels very different from a nursing home. The important thing is that after the tour, both of you can picture you living happily in the community.
Talk Openly About Finances
Cost is the biggest concern not just for older adults, but their adult children too. Unfortunately, money can be a difficult conversation topic. If you decide to retire at home, what’s your plan for home healthcare? While caregiving can be a labor of love, it’s not without costs. If an adult child wants to become your caregiver, talk about the impact this could have on their health and career.
Family caregivers spend an average of 20 percent of their annual income on caregiving expenses. Family caregivers report dipping into savings, cutting back on personal spending, saving less for retirement, taking out loans to make ends meet, and taking time off work.
Research reveals that family members who care for an aging loved one often:
- Experience depression
- Have less time available to spend with friends and other family members
- Sacrifice financially by taking time away from their careers or retiring early
While you do not have to go into the details, you can present your children with an overarching plan of how you will finance the move to a retirement community. Come prepared with community costs and a list of what’s included in that cost.
It may be wise to talk about future finances too. If your care needs do change, one of the advantages of living in a retirement community that offers a continuum of care is that you can transition to assisted living or a memory support care neighborhood without having to move to a different community or pay additional fees.
Get Them Excited About Your Future Early
Senior living and financial experts agree you should kick off the conversation when you approach your 70s or your adult children hit 40. Introducing the topic early will allow time for a series of open and honest conversations addressing all your options. You can talk to all your children at once or have individual conversations with different children. It’s important to center the conversation on your needs and feelings. When everyone is on the same page, you’ll have time to create and implement a plan.
Don’t wait until it’s an emergency to bring up the topic of senior living. It’s essential to have these discussions while you are still healthy and able to make your own decisions.
Consider the Benefits of Senior Living
Did you know that residents of senior living communities may be happier than those who retire at home? A five-year Age Well Study conducted by Mather Institute and Northwestern University found communities with a wide range of activities had average life satisfaction scores near the top of the range.
Benefits of community living include:
- A maintenance-free lifestyle, with no need to cook, clean, cut grass, or shovel snow
- More opportunities to form friendships and socialize
- A more comprehensive range of planned activities
- More time to pursue hobbies and interests
- Chef-prepared meals
- Fitness centers and personal training
- Increased safety and security
- Housekeeping and transportation
Tips for Success
What can you do to make the conversation flow as smoothly as possible? Consider these strategies:
- Back away from the conversation if you sense tension or discord. Sometimes, people just need some time to process new information.
- Know that it’s acceptable to make decisions your loved ones disagree with.
- Initiate discussions about finances early. Your family may worry about finances, such as how you’ll afford a senior living community, or what happens if you run out of money.
- Listen to your loved one’s concerns with empathy rather than dismissiveness. Treating your loved ones’ opinions with respect can get you much closer to harmonious agreement.
- Develop a plan together for moving to a senior living community. What is the timeline? Can you start planning visits now to ease the transition?
- Consider talking to your loved ones before you make a firm decision if you haven’t already done so. Make the search as a joint project and visit communities together. You’ll meet new people and explore new communities, something that can bring you closer.
- If you encounter resistance, focus on areas of agreement, you both care about your safety or financial stability. Hearing that you have similar concerns can help ease worries.
Embrace Honest Talks for the New Chapter Ahead
Being open and honest with your family about such a significant decision can truly set the stage for a smoother transition and create a shared sense of excitement about the new chapter ahead. Communication is key in making everyone feel heard and understood throughout this journey. It’s important to recognize the value of these discussions in making the process more manageable and enjoyable for all involved. Remember, honesty and open communication pave the way for a more positive and united experience as you embark on this new adventure together.
Talking to your loved ones about moving to a senior living community can be a tough conversation which is why The Ohio Masonic Communities is here to help you give you the support and resources you need. With three senior living communities across the state of Ohio – Browning Masonic Community in Waterville, Ohio, Springfield Masonic Community in Springfield, Ohio, and Western Reserve Masonic Community in Medina, Ohio – each offers premier living options with exceptional experiences so residents can live their best lives. If you are interested in learning more about one of our communities, give us a call at 1-877-881-1623. We will be happy to answer all your questions and be a trusted resource in the search for the right community for you!